Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim
Surely all glorifications belong to Allah, the Omnipotent Allah, the Sustainer and Inheritor of all living and non-living. Abundant blessings be upon the noble Messenger Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam (SAW)) and all virtuous followers of his guidance till eternity. As mentioned towards the end of the second to the last edition, single motherhood and its socio-religious effects in the society is taken up here with a view not to ridicule anyone but to chart a cause of finding lasting solution to the social menace in the society.
As part of the modicum of social integration in Islam which relatively bears on human success, a union between man and woman counts paramount. It is not unessential to find tranquility and great orderliness in coming together as couples as fortress to support child-bearing and upbringing the latter of which attracts bigger responsibilities than the former. Being attuned with such onerous responsibilities provides not only socio-religious benefits in life but also ensures safety and rear recognition in the hereafter. A parable suffices here in relation to child rearing and upbringing is 'Can a bird find it easy flying with a single wing?'
Allah (SubhanaHu Wa Ta'ala (SWT)) alludes to success in both lives as predicate to fair marital relationship when He proverbially declares in the Glorious Qur'an: "Is then the person who believes not better than the one who is rebellious and wicked? Not equal are they. For those who believe and do righteous deeds, are gardens as hospitable homes, for their (good) deeds. As to those who are rebellious and wicked, their abode will be the fire: every time they wish to get away therefrom, they will be forced thereinto, and it will be said to them: 'taste you the chastisement of the fire, the which you were wont to reject as false'. And indeed We will make them taste of the lighter chastisement before the greater chastisement in order that they may (repent and) return. And who does more wrong than one to whom are recited the signs of his Lord, and who then turns away therefrom? Verily from those who transgress We shall exact (due) retribution (Qur'an 32:18-22)."
From the above-quoted Qur'an provision, one would be amazed at the systematic expression of the aftermath effects of mortal's attitude and behaviour to life mechanics as obtainable from being in fair union with opposite gender. As an ultimate remedy for human rages and indecency, chastity is prescribed for both men and women and it culminates in unionism between the genders. Against the benefits accrued therefrom, social ills capable of trailing acting otherwise appear much overwhelming. World population according to the United Nations report of 2023 shows 70 to 30% in favour of female of reproductive age. The reality of this statistics appears verifiable when physical ratio of men and women in the contemporary society is considered. The immediate fallout of this data reflects women's enhancement in terms of economy and this poses varieties of threat to men of the same category who might tend to seek their hands in marriage. Men and women tend to compliment each other particularly when there exists little or no gap in their socio-economy.
There are several factors responsible for single motherhood and proliferation of unmarried women in circulation to the effect that there is hardly any family without women who belong to this category. Part of these factors result from personal ego of such women to the deride of socio-religious dictates on marriage relationship as at when due. Another reason arises from parents' attitude to acceptability of daughter's earlier choice against her wish. In another circumstance, education system operating in an environment plays key roles in delaying marriage and invariably spending more period in schools and parents' home. Equally important in this situation is possible earlier out of wedlock pregnancy which result mostly in nurturing the child by the daughter's parents. More importantly, a victim of rape falls into the category of ladies often looked at by men with contempt thereby causing unnecessary delay in proper marriage.
Death of earlier husband is another reason which exposes ladies to single motherhood. A situation whereby such woman beared no hand in the untimely death of the husband, there would definitely be no reason for stigmatizing her for wickedness. Except she decides otherwise, re-marrying not quite long after the widowhood rites serves her well. Men who propose to her should as well conduct themselves in matured manner in readiness for her accommodation. As an experienced woman, she stands a better chance in terms of understanding of marital affairs in relation to the man in question. It is acting otherwise which arises from jealous and rivalry to the senior colleague and contemporary wives that often results in men's reactions in this capacity.
Regarding parents' materialistic zeal in the choice of suitor for daughters, the noble Messenger Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam (SAW)) warned: "Whenever anyone whose religion and disposition is pleasing to you marry him your daughter; for your refusal to do that is an invitation to anarchy and trouble (Tirmidhi 1084)". When this provision is taken along with another tradition on Mahr (Bride prize): 'The best of Mahr is the cheapest', it is clear that Allah blesses more a relationship based on timeliness, understanding and piety. Of course, this does not culminate in giving daughters in marriage free of charge just as there is no provision for denying parents' benefitting from part of the bride prize. To this end Hadith related by Abu Dawud is categorical. It says: 'The best of what you consume is your attainment, and your children are also part of your attainment (Abu Dawud 3530)'. This is in contra-distinction to the assertion that Mahr is exclusive to bride as a key into her privacy.
Another dimension to reasons for single motherhood appears in the fact that some women often get married without the consent of parents and guardians. Invariably, such marriage as far as Islam is concerned is void on arrival and seeking redress often take tolls on those women who fall into such category. On this the noble Messenger Muhammad (SAW) maintained: 'There is no Nikah without guidance and any lady who gets married without the consent of guidant the marriage is not valid, not valid, not valid (mentioned three times). And if there is no guidant for her the government is the guidant for the one who has no guidant (Abu Dawud 1835).' This provision is self-explanatory.
Distant relationship, bad treatment and epidemics such as natural and man-made disasters can also occasion single motherhood. Ameliorating the economic hardship also falls within the purview of the government. Against all these, the system of education obtainable in an environment whereby the untold effects of systemic delay in getting skills useful for a living is also liable for single motherhood resulting in anxiety and curiosity and wrong engagement. It would not be out of place to suggest humanly possible solutions to this circumstance in view of moral laxity resulting from the situation in order to close gap in the UN statistics earlier mentioned. The first to be addressed appears the fact that each member of the society needs to address mind to the ever-increasing situation of the unmarried female gender and their socio-moral effects in the society; if they were to be my daughters, sisters, nieces or relatives. Awareness is core remedy to insanity. Both genders should as a matter of urgency should be ready to sacrifice personal ego for the benefit of the generality of the society. From the micro unit across the general macrocosm, addressing mind to the following becomes a task to be accomplished for every well-meaning member.
As often conceived, the government's imput in this matter would take giant stride. Successive governments, corporate and religious bodies and philanthropic individuals should work on data-base of ready but yet to marry male and female members of the polity with a view not only to register them but also to gazette them for periodic support. The case of Benue state, Nigeria where Special Adviser is appointed for unmarried women is a step in the right direction. Ministries seeing to the affairs of unmarried men and women should be created across the three tiers of governance in order to organize them for possible mass wedding and Couple Support Project (CSP) under home affairs sector of the government. Not only that men should be encouraged to marry more women but also married women should allow and support husbands to take in other women. Women coming into wedlock need a lot of warning to allow peace to reign in the family. Against the much celebrated one-man-one-wife syndrome in vogue, consideration for other girl child becomes very essential. Brides should also lower their prifile to allow young men access to them in marriage. Above all, most of these mentioned measures and others alike need intensified re-orientation of society members in general. More importantly as Muslims, minds should be addressed to the fact that nothing whatsoever appears so big to sacrifice in the interest of the general social safety and security. Thanks for your patience on reading.
# Single motherhood Painted
# Causes of Single motherhood
# Solution to Single motherhood
DR. RAZAQ BOLAWAYE UTHMAN, IMAM & MISSIONER ANSAR-UD-DEEN SOCIETY OF NIGERIA IPAJA BRANCH LAGOS STATE NIGERIA. © Copyrights 2025
Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahim
Surely all glorifications belong to Allah, the Omnipotent Allah, the Sustainer and Inheritor of all living and non-living. Abundant blessings be upon the noble Messenger Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam (SAW)) and all virtuous followers of his guidance till eternity. As mentioned towards the end of the second to the last edition, single motherhood and its socio-religious effects in the society is taken up here with a view not to ridicule anyone but to chart a cause of finding lasting solution to the social menace in the society.
As part of the modicum of social integration in Islam which relatively bears on human success, a union between man and woman counts paramount. It is not unessential to find tranquility and great orderliness in coming together as couples as fortress to support child-bearing and upbringing the latter of which attracts bigger responsibilities than the former. Being attuned with such onerous responsibilities provides not only socio-religious benefits in life but also ensures safety and rear recognition in the hereafter. A parable suffices here in relation to child rearing and upbringing is 'Can a bird find it easy flying with a single wing?'
Allah (SubhanaHu Wa Ta'ala (SWT)) alludes to success in both lives as predicate to fair marital relationship when He proverbially declares in the Glorious Qur'an: "Is then the person who believes not better than the one who is rebellious and wicked? Not equal are they. For those who believe and do righteous deeds, are gardens as hospitable homes, for their (good) deeds. As to those who are rebellious and wicked, their abode will be the fire: every time they wish to get away therefrom, they will be forced thereinto, and it will be said to them: 'taste you the chastisement of the fire, the which you were wont to reject as false'. And indeed We will make them taste of the lighter chastisement before the greater chastisement in order that they may (repent and) return. And who does more wrong than one to whom are recited the signs of his Lord, and who then turns away therefrom? Verily from those who transgress We shall exact (due) retribution (Qur'an 32:18-22)."
From the above-quoted Qur'an provision, one would be amazed at the systematic expression of the aftermath effects of mortal's attitude and behaviour to life mechanics as obtainable from being in fair union with opposite gender. As an ultimate remedy for human rages and indecency, chastity is prescribed for both men and women and it culminates in unionism between the genders. Against the benefits accrued therefrom, social ills capable of trailing acting otherwise appear much overwhelming. World population according to the United Nations report of 2023 shows 70 to 30% in favour of female of reproductive age. The reality of this statistics appears verifiable when physical ratio of men and women in the contemporary society is considered. The immediate fallout of this data reflects women's enhancement in terms of economy and this poses varieties of threat to men of the same category who might tend to seek their hands in marriage. Men and women tend to compliment each other particularly when there exists little or no gap in their socio-economy.
There are several factors responsible for single motherhood and proliferation of unmarried women in circulation to the effect that there is hardly any family without women who belong to this category. Part of these factors result from personal ego of such women to the deride of socio-religious dictates on marriage relationship as at when due. Another reason arises from parents' attitude to acceptability of daughter's earlier choice against her wish. In another circumstance, education system operating in an environment plays key roles in delaying marriage and invariably spending more period in schools and parents' home. Equally important in this situation is possible earlier out of wedlock pregnancy which result mostly in nurturing the child by the daughter's parents. More importantly, a victim of rape falls into the category of ladies often looked at by men with contempt thereby causing unnecessary delay in proper marriage.
Death of earlier husband is another reason which exposes ladies to single motherhood. A situation whereby such woman beared no hand in the untimely death of the husband, there would definitely be no reason for stigmatizing her for wickedness. Except she decides otherwise, re-marrying not quite long after the widowhood rites serves her well. Men who propose to her should as well conduct themselves in matured manner in readiness for her accommodation. As an experienced woman, she stands a better chance in terms of understanding of marital affairs in relation to the man in question. It is acting otherwise which arises from jealous and rivalry to the senior colleague and contemporary wives that often results in men's reactions in this capacity.
Regarding parents' materialistic zeal in the choice of suitor for daughters, the noble Messenger Muhammad (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam (SAW)) warned: "Whenever anyone whose religion and disposition is pleasing to you marry him your daughter; for your refusal to do that is an invitation to anarchy and trouble (Tirmidhi 1084)". When this provision is taken along with another tradition on Mahr (Bride prize): 'The best of Mahr is the cheapest', it is clear that Allah blesses more a relationship based on timeliness, understanding and piety. Of course, this does not culminate in giving daughters in marriage free of charge just as there is no provision for denying parents' benefitting from part of the bride prize. To this end Hadith related by Abu Dawud is categorical. It says: 'The best of what you consume is your attainment, and your children are also part of your attainment (Abu Dawud 3530)'. This is in contra-distinction to the assertion that Mahr is exclusive to bride as a key into her privacy.
Another dimension to reasons for single motherhood appears in the fact that some women often get married without the consent of parents and guardians. Invariably, such marriage as far as Islam is concerned is void on arrival and seeking redress often take tolls on those women who fall into such category. On this the noble Messenger Muhammad (SAW) maintained: 'There is no Nikah without guidance and any lady who gets married without the consent of guidant the marriage is not valid, not valid, not valid (mentioned three times). And if there is no guidant for her the government is the guidant for the one who has no guidant (Abu Dawud 1835).' This provision is self-explanatory.
Distant relationship, bad treatment and epidemics such as natural and man-made disasters can also occasion single motherhood. Ameliorating the economic hardship also falls within the purview of the government. Against all these, the system of education obtainable in an environment whereby the untold effects of systemic delay in getting skills useful for a living is also liable for single motherhood resulting in anxiety and curiosity and wrong engagement. It would not be out of place to suggest humanly possible solutions to this circumstance in view of moral laxity resulting from the situation in order to close gap in the UN statistics earlier mentioned. The first to be addressed appears the fact that each member of the society needs to address mind to the ever-increasing situation of the unmarried female gender and their socio-moral effects in the society; if they were to be my daughters, sisters, nieces or relatives. Awareness is core remedy to insanity. Both genders should as a matter of urgency should be ready to sacrifice personal ego for the benefit of the generality of the society. From the micro unit across the general macrocosm, addressing mind to the following becomes a task to be accomplished for every well-meaning member.
As often conceived, the government's imput in this matter would take giant stride. Successive governments, corporate and religious bodies and philanthropic individuals should work on data-base of ready but yet to marry male and female members of the polity with a view not only to register them but also to gazette them for periodic support. The case of Benue state, Nigeria where Special Adviser is appointed for unmarried women is a step in the right direction. Ministries seeing to the affairs of unmarried men and women should be created across the three tiers of governance in order to organize them for possible mass wedding and Couple Support Project (CSP) under home affairs sector of the government. Not only that men should be encouraged to marry more women but also married women should allow and support husbands to take in other women. Women coming into wedlock need a lot of warning to allow peace to reign in the family. Against the much celebrated one-man-one-wife syndrome in vogue, consideration for other girl child becomes very essential. Brides should also lower their prifile to allow young men access to them in marriage. Above all, most of these mentioned measures and others alike need intensified re-orientation of society members in general. More importantly as Muslims, minds should be addressed to the fact that nothing whatsoever appears so big to sacrifice in the interest of the general social safety and security. Thanks for your patience on reading.
# Single motherhood Painted
# Causes of Single motherhood
# Solution to Single motherhood
DR. RAZAQ BOLAWAYE UTHMAN, IMAM & MISSIONER ANSAR-UD-DEEN SOCIETY OF NIGERIA IPAJA BRANCH LAGOS STATE NIGERIA. © Copyrights 2025
0 Comments